My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
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