she looked like the before picture.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
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