Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
