i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
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