so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
