I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
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