Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
