For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Randomize