Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
