It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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