Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
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