Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
