Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
Randomize
