Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Come on in and take your pants off
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