mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
Is it normal to miss your booty call?
I'm pants shitting drunk right now
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
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