i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Randomize
