The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Randomize
