11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
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