just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Randomize
