And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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