We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
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