sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Randomize
