Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
