8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
