Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
please don't ironically join a cult
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