Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
