A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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