So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
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