bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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