Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Randomize
