You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Randomize
