trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
How's work?
Spinning.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
