Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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