You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
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