He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
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I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
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Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
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