Sponge bath it is.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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