it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
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