You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
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