i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
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