She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Randomize
