You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
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