butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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