Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Randomize
