Will you blow on my dice?
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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