I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
