Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Randomize
