forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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