i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Randomize
