I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize