I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Randomize