he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
She needs sedatives and a leash
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
