I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Two words: nipple clamps
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