M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Randomize