The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
