So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize
