why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
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