honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
