Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
