dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
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