My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
