The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize