are you so shy because you have an std?
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
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